no hope

we went to a children's daycare center, aspiring to become an orphanage, in one of the slums in nairobi yesterday. a lady runs it, brings children in (whose parents have abandoned them, are alcoholics, vegabonds with no place to stay, have so many children they can't support them, etc) and tries to teach them simple things like the alphabet, how to pronounce letters, parts of the body, manners, how to greet people, what items in a house are called, etc. she has 25, but there were only 17 when we went because, she assumes, the other 8 are out collecting plastic or trying to get money for food. some of the children don't even get one meal a day, and so providing food there is an incentive for them to come, but not something that is affordable - one of the challenges she faces. she tries to get children to learn the importance of an education, while they could be out, not learning, and trying to make money for food.

other challenges, on the long shitshow list of them - all stemming from the lack of resources - are keeping an educator there who will work for no money, paying rent on the tiny shack that is often robbed in the night, trying to teach anything without pencils, paper, books, desks, and keeping the children safe, as there is a huge hole right behind the center where one child has fallen in and died. she has taken discarded, large potato sacks and painted on them to create instructional posters - with the alphabet, the body, the kenyan flag, animals, etc on them.

we asked how many children, in the same situation as these, she thought there were in the slum. hundreds was her response, stay right here and i can bring you hundreds.

it's way too overwhelming, as there are many slums in nairobi, this was just one. i was informed that this was actually a nicer one, which was hard to believe, i mean, the place made makuyu, even with its trash everywhere and tied up donkeys and stray dogs, look pristine.

but ahhhhhh! i feel, just, hopeless and helpless. i wasn't completely naive to these situations, but seeing them first-hand, ugh. and i know why i was brought there in the first place, because im white and it is assumed that i'll have oodles of money to shell out to them. but even providing what i could isn't sustainable. i dont know, i guess no one really knows, that's why this situation exists, in more places in the world than i can fathom. i think this is probably how a large portion of the world population lives.

so i feel completely hopeless, but will try to sponsor a child there when i get back and hope that that does any good whatsoever.